Happy to Be Stuck With You

I married my high school sweetheart at the ripe young age of twenty. Five years later here we are with two beautiful children and on the verge of buying our first home. I am not going to pretend that it has all been easy or act like we have some sort of fairy tale life. We have faced our share of relational hardships, especially financial hardships, and many times when it certainly would have been easier had we chosen a different path. I also am not naive in thinking that our troubles are over. We have a long road ahead of us but both of us plan to be walking it together, even the pitfalls.
 I can't count the number of times that people have looked at me wrangling my two crazies with concerned eyes and furrowed brow and told me "I could never do that." Or those times when I have had to cancel a night out because of a sick little one and I have heard  "I could never give up my life that way." I have even had a woman tell me straight out to wait until I turned 25 and I would realize that I have gotten myself stuck and would do all I could to get out. Well I am now almost 26 and I am still all in. When did a vow become a trap instead of a promise?
Our society has this intense focus on independence and each person being important in their own right. "I just don't know what I want right now. I need to figure out who I am before I can be with someone else. I need to find myself." Along this journey to find ourselves we are losing something vitally important; the ability to make a real and lasting commitment.
People are waiting longer and longer to get married. Current statistics say 27 years old for women and 29 for men with a projected addition of two years within the next forty. The desire for a masters degree, the perfect career, or even just time to go out and party, have far overshadowed the desire to settle down and have responsibility for anyone but ourselves. Even once the marriage threshold is crossed couples are waiting long into their thirties and even forties to have children. What used to be a blessing and a sign of prosperity is looked upon as a nuisance, simply something that cramps our style and costs money.
Now I am not claiming my path as the path for everyone. Some will not meet the person God has for them until much later in life. My point is that a majority in America are spending their twenties not even looking. The idea of spending the rest of their lives with someone and being tied down is a terrifying one.
While this fact saddens me, it fits perfectly into the current dogma of society. There is no putting other's needs before your own. There is only what makes "me" happy.

Don't get me wrong marriage is hard. It is is an act of refinement. A decision to love someone else, sins and all with the understanding that no, they will not always "make you happy" should not be entered into lightly. I love my husband very much, he is my best friend and my confidant. He has held me crying and comforted me on countless occasions and he is an amazing father to our kids. He is also the person who can most easily and quickly get under my skin. And the kids? Well they need you almost 24/7 from the time they are born. being a Mother or Father teaches you to put aside your own needs and desires for the sake of a crying grasping little person who, let's face it, doesn't know how NOT to be selfish yet. (that's part of our job)
It makes sense that in a society so focused on the me and the I and the happy and the easy that both marriages and kids would be petering off.
But what are these lives being sought after in reality? A life devoid of struggle, or a life were struggles must be faced alone? A life where money isn't an issue, or a life where the legacy you leave is a simply paycheck. A life of freedom, or a life devoid of real commitment?
While I could be spending my twenties stocking away savings and partying the night away. I am spending them hugging, holding, and caring for all the needs of two little people, and snuggling, sharing, and praying with my husband. It is not giving up my dreams, it is allowing my dreams to coincide with what God has planned. This way requires a lot of patience, a lot of struggle, and a lot of prayer, but I know that it is a life making a mark. God's path is different for every person but I am urging you to consider that his paths are often drastically different then what the world would have us see as right. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart usually means a shift in OUR desires once we are focused in the right direction, up. No matter what path he has for you, you can be certain that it will not be the easiest, but it will absolutely be the most rewarding. And at the end of the day I wouldn't trade what I have for anything. If this is stuck, than I am more than happy to stay stuck for the rest of my life.